Why Asians are Skinny

  1. They need to fit into the small cars they make (i.e., Toyota Corollas, Honda Fits, etc.).
  2. There are a lot of them, and they end up living in highly populated areas, so they need to fit themselves and the large amounts of family members they have into small living spaces.
  3. They need to fit into the tiny clothes they make.
  4. If they gain even just a pound, this will make their mother/grandmother very upset, resulting in dishonor upon the family, and a lot of yelling.
  5. Even if they don’t gain weight, Asians still yell a lot, which burns calories. This makes them skinnier, in turn, making them excited and happy, and so they yell more.
  6. A lot of Asians have historically lived (and still live) in areas where there are tropical diseases and parasites, which cause “natural” skinniness. This has either become tradition, or is genetic.
  7. They study a lot, so they forget to eat (unless they’re the type that eats a lot while they’re studying).
  8. As the Asian mother proverb goes, “Person who not skinny, not find someone who want to marry you.”
  9. Being skinny is economical: one can save money by eating less food, using less gas for their small car, and using smaller clothes made of less material.
  10. It’s easier for people to move quickly when they are skinny, which is important for Asians, since they are all ninjas.
  11. It’s a universally known fact that being skinny makes you better at math. And creating elaborate shows for the Olympics. And taking over the world.
  12. If Asians were fat, their squinty eyes would be swallowed up, and they wouldn’t be able to see.
Published in: on October 18, 2009 at 11:18 pm  Comments (1)  

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One CommentLeave a comment

  1. yal are hilarious :]

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